Going Back To Work

Tomorrow is my first day with my new job. I can't day I am truly excited to go back to work again. The reason is not because I am darn to lazy but simply because I will miss the "life of my life" . His name is Dylan. I been out of work for a little less than a year. Not by choice but because I was laid off. Blessing in disguise I spend a lot of time with my lil man.

Dylan was so much joy now. He laugh with me, hug me, kiss me and acts silly. How can I not miss that. He is also learning to walk and I am very excited to see that. But since I am working again, I will definitely miss that milestone. Oh, if we can only afford for me just to stay home.

When I got an offer about a week ago, I was sad ! For most people who already run out of their "unemployment benefits" would be jumping for joy... Not me. I was so sad the whole day. Then I cried. Mike ask me why? I just told him I will not spend more time with Dylan anymore. I have a bad separation anxiety I guess. I think I dont feel right having him and abandon him. For me he is a bit too young to be not with me. Although we want our kids to be independent, I think Dylan is at the age where he needs me more. Nothing is more beneficial but to provide a child with a caring, loving, fun and supportive environment. I hate to go back to work but I have no choice.

Two nights ago, my friend from Colorado called me. Nothing just to chat. I told her that I am going back to work and I will start on Wednesday. She was happy for me and at the same time excited too. I told her I am not. She told me that she is wanting to go back to work again. Can't wait. I told her you were lucky because you dont have to. You can be a staya t home mom for as long as you want.

Maybe things would be different once I get the hang of working again. Hmmm, I just dont know how to balance the life of a working mom. Am I gonna go crazy? Will I be stress out? Not sure me feeling bored, I doubt it. To top it all I will be driving more than 18 miles to work one way five days a week.... I am a terrified highway driver. we'll see how it will work for me.